The best excuses to skip work — what works, what doesn’t, and what they reveal.
You think you know all the excuses for skipping work? Think again: some make people smile, others reveal what you never dare to say out loud…
At some point, we’ve all wanted to skip the office. But saying flat-out, “I just don’t feel like coming in” — unthinkable. So we improvise an excuse: a sudden stomach bug, a migraine in Dolby Surround, or a mysteriously feverish child. That’s where the art of the “good excuse” begins: a clever mix of timing, imagination… and just the right tone, so no one suspects a thing. Behind every alibi lies a glimpse of our relationship with work, fatigue… and our bosses.
The excuses that actually work (and are worth reusing)
According to a study shared by Nouvelle Vie Pro, seasonal illnesses — colds, stomach flu, and regular flu — account for 70% of short absences in France. Coincidence? Hardly. These little gems are credible, invisible, and, most importantly, impossible to verify in real time. No one’s going to check your rumbling intestines or measure the severity of your migraine on a Monday morning.
Let’s be honest: back pain, food poisoning, and the lightning-fast gastro make up the holy trinity of strategic absenteeism. Unprovable, easy to fake, and bonus — they trigger instant sympathy. “A brutal migraine”? Everyone nods, sympathizes, and no one pushes further.
Then there are the others — from ridiculous to glorious
Next come the non-medical excuses: sick child, childcare issues, burst pipe, car trouble… those usually pass without a hitch. After all, they could happen.
But some people get a little too creative, and managers have reported gems like:
“I accidentally ended up on a plane…”
“My toe got stuck in the bathtub faucet…”
“Can’t leave home — a bear’s camping on my porch.”
And if you think you’ve heard it all, brace yourself: there’s more. You can find a compilation of real-life excuses at this link, gathered by BioPanel Systems, a UK company specializing in HR research and workplace wellbeing.
On the employer side, vigilance is real
As shown by a 2017 CareerBuilder survey, employers aren’t so easily fooled when it comes to excuses for missing work.
- 33% check whether a sick leave is genuine
- 68% require a medical certificate
- 43% call the employee directly
- 18% even show up at their home to confirm their sickness
- 34% of employers have caught someone lying thanks to compromising social media posts.
And the consequences can be harsh: 22% have fired an employee for faking an illness. Yet behind this vigilance lies a paradox — managers often spot the lie, but rarely understand why the employee felt the need to make one.
The big misunderstanding: we lie, but why exactly?
According to a ACCA Global survey, 30% of employees have skipped work simply because they didn’t feel like going, 29% to relax, and 19% to catch up on sleep. Sometimes, the duvet just wins. And let’s be honest: on a rainy Monday in January, who hasn’t felt that temptation?
But call it “laziness” if you want — I see it as something else: warning signs.
- The job no longer fits. If getting out of bed feels unbearable, maybe the role or company isn’t right for you anymore. Staying and suffering helps no one — not you, not your colleagues. It might be time to rethink your career path.
- Invisible personal strain. Chronic fatigue, family stress, rising anxiety… these “minor” issues are rarely trivial. They often foreshadow burnout, depression, or family breakdowns. Taking a few days now might spare you months off later. And if you still feel guilty about taking a sick day when you genuinely need one, read this.
- Toxic workplace dynamics. Exhausting management, toxic working environment, unresolved conflicts — some fake a sick day simply because it’s their only escape valve. In that case, you don’t just need a few days off — you need genuine support.
And this isn’t just intuition: the Good Boss Questionnaire (BBC, 2004) found that employees with bad bosses are three times more likely to fake being sick. So behind a “flu” there isn’t always a virus — sometimes it’s the company that needs a diagnosis. And dear managers, a little self-check wouldn’t hurt.
What fake sick days really say about you
Sick leave — really? Behind every imaginary stomach bug or overplayed migraine lies a less digestible truth: you’re drained, disconnected, or stuck in a job that no longer fits you. And no, a sick note won’t fix that.
If you’re counting how many more times you can get away with the “food poisoning” excuse before suspicion rises, ask yourself this instead: why is it so hard to go to work? The real absence to worry about isn’t the one in HR’s records — it’s the absence of your energy, your spark, that tiny drive that makes you get up with a hint of enthusiasm.
Because in the end, you can keep perfecting your alibis — or finally listen to what they’ve been screaming at you for weeks: something has to change.
And this time, it’s not your excuse for missing work that needs to be better — it’s your professional life. So, ready to stop lying… and start acting?
